Becoming a professor is complicated by a lack of clear guidelines for promotion to permanent status and, paradoxically, a surplus of mechanisms for institutional transparency. Drawing on Lilith Mahmud's anthropologies of discretion applied to secret societies like the Italian Freemasons, this paper compares becoming a professor to an initiate's journey toward becoming a member of a secret society. Membership in both requires a balance between knowing who to know and knowing the codes of what goes said and unsaid. These ways of knowing may manifest in mentor/mentee relations, in informal networks and communities of practice, or in acts of compliance and resistance to the neoliberal university.